The first time I had my heart broken was when my very first boyfriend cheated on me. I loved him like every girl loves her first boyfriend – whole-heartedly and obsessively. Was I in love? I don’t know. But boy, did I cry like I was in love. I was a crumpled little teenage wreck who didn’t know how to deal with the chaos and turmoil that a broken heart leaves in it’s wake.
The second time I had my heart broken was when my second boyfriend cheated on me. Now, I know for sure that I was in love with this one, and boy, did I cry like I was in love. I’m talking – couldn’t eat couldn’t sleep wouldn’t leave the house for three weeks – kind of heartbreak. I felt every single emotion from betrayal to triumph, but without fail, every single day it hurt. It hurt like hell. And not a fleeting feeling of hurt either, but a dull, lifeless ache that was with me every second of the day.
But, like any heartbreak over a cheating boy usually does, it subsided. Eventually. Now, as a chronic wallower, getting over this boy took me a little longer than entirely necessary. Why? Because I did everything that you shouldn’t do when you go through a break up. I stayed in bed enveloped in darkness, I listened to woeful music, I refused to leave the house, I declined to see friends, I stalked him on social media and I texted him. I look back and I shudder! So, to save myself and prevent this situation of prolonged wallowing from occurring again, I have learnt what to do to fix a broken heart.
Stop following them.
Hopefully this doesn’t apply to you literally, but simply through social media. If you don’t quite want to delete them or block them, just stop following their feed. It works wonders to not have the constant distraction of seeing what they’re doing and who with, and let’s be honest – you don’t need to know anymore.
Anywhere. Wallowing in your room, moping about “could’ve been” and “would’ve been” will only make you feel worse. Go to the gym and get those endorphins rushing, go for a drink with your pals, go watch a comedy at the cinema, go to a gig. Go and do anything that will take your mind off your heartbreak and get you smiling again. When I was going through my second heartbreak, my friends took me to the Bingo. Yes, the Bingo. I was so befuddled by their suggestion that I actually did what they said and went along, and it was an excellent idea! Nothing that I have made a regular practise of mind, but it was a fun new experience. I drank cheap wine, won a tenner and I appreciated how great my friends were.
Nothing feels better when you’re mopey and weepy than a little pampering, and at a time like this, your body needs to be looked after. You could enjoy a massage, treat yourself to a haircut or buy something new. It doesn’t have to be lavish, but I know that I always feel better when I look better.
I find that anything that occupies my mind, no matter what it is, takes my thoughts away from being sad. Whether that is reading a book or planning a holiday, anything will do the trick. But if you have the means to book a short weekend away or a summer holiday with your friends – do it! Nothing will bring you down when you have the excitement of a new city to explore and the prospect of making some new memories with some close friends.
Try something new.
Be adventurous and try something that you’ve not experienced before. In the past, I signed up to do volunteer work, gardening for a local charity on Sunday mornings. It was totally out of character as I had never gardened before, but it turned out to be great. The volunteers were great, the fresh air was great and the purpose was great. Of course, trying something new could be anything though. You could try a new cuisine or a new coffee shop, you could get your food from a morning market rather than the supermarket, you could try a new running route or you could even go out with a friend or colleague that you haven’t got to know properly yet. The world is your oyster.
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid to call on your friends when you need them – they love you. Don’t be afraid of missing your person – it’s natural. Don’t be afraid of moving on – everyone is different and this could happen at any time. Embrace how you feel.
And don’t be afraid of being single. It is a wonderful and exciting time to be alive and you’re going to be just fine.